MATT STORM

ACT OF LOOKING

 “Act of Looking" is a series of self-portraits that expands the lexicon of ways to see a body, inclusive of ways to see mine. I’m transgender, and I rarely see bodies like mine represented well. It matters that someone trans makes this art.

I make these images annually in the same studio in Provincetown, MA, using a tripod, a digital camera and ten-second timer, and natural light. Some poses represent the body and its impact on self and experience. Other poses reference how US americans learn to see bodies, including classical sculpture, renaissance painting, sports, and advertising. My body is incongruous with these institutions’ limited models. All our bodies are. We need more complex ways to see bodies.

These images first existed as framed photographs, participating in portraiture, documentation, and nude photography traditions. It became apparent that there needed to be bodies themselves, in the same room as the viewer and more complex to consume, so I began creating human-scale fabric installations. By existing in real space, rather than as something to be observed in a frame, these installations embody the divergence between a theoretical identity, and the complex lived experience of a person in a body.

above: Act of Looking series, 2018.

12"x18" archival pigment prints. Edition of 3 + AP.

Poem:

I remember being 10 12 15 years old, thinking about growing up. My brothers joked that I’d be the wild aunt who took their kids on adventures. I knew I’d do that, but couldn’t see myself as the person who would be doing that.

Potential careers felt the same way - architect, adventurer, cartoonist - I identified with these focused pursuits, but couldn’t envision myself as an adult in these roles.

Thoughts about my future floated on like fever dreams - musings in fuzzy scenery lacking a concrete reference point. My imaginings had the same dampened yellow quality as the past, when my parents grew up.

I felt dread at the inevitability of the future, when I’d have to be someone.